Soaring Christian Counseling

Life is a journey. We are definitely on the move and going somewhere, but the question is, what is the destination? This is certainly the way I see marriage. Two people are walking down the road and they are on their way to something. It will help if you can get that picture fixed in your mind’s eye: two people walking along a road. If one falls down and turns their ankle, what will the other do? Go on their way? Get angry and shout, “How could you do this?” No, here’s an opportunity to help this person get where you both are going. Probably, the first thing to do would be stop, not just keep on walking. Next, there might be some moments of trying to assess the damage, perhaps tying a handkerchief around the ankle, and now you will both have to walk much slower. Now perhaps, one will have their arm around the other, bearing the weight of the other. This part I would call ministry if I had to give it a name.

In spiritual terms I would say that you, the helper, have been presented with an opportunity to be a vessel through which God’s love can flow. You can be His feet, His hands, show His gentleness, kindness, patience to your journeymate. In other words, the fruit of the spirit can be used to minister to your mate.

Think about it. You will have more opportunities to minister to your mate than any other person in your whole life. You have a single goal… to see that with all that is in your power, they reach the destination with you. Please do not confuse this and garble the message with all the codependency teachings on rescuing. Certainly, you are not the Savior, and there are limits to what you can do. I am speaking to what is in your power to do. At each need, hurt, etc., you can choose to respond with the love of God to minister to your mate. You can choose to stop, look, and listen.

I speak out of 32 years of marriage experiences. My husband had no conception of the opportunities that he would be presented with, to sit up and listen till the wee hours of the morning, no conception of the number of tears he would wipe away. But as God’s love continued to flow through him to me, a wondrous thing took place through the years: healing, mending of the soul, and bruises disappeared from my childhood. Trust was built. Love matured. The planks were put in place, building a bridge between us.

This picture sounds much like the story of the Good Samaritan. Finding one on life’s journey, picking them up alongside the road, ministering to their woundedness with tender care. Costly, sacrificially , and unselfishly.

I was walking along the road one day and met a man. He said, “I would like to walk with you> But I said to him “Oh, but you see, I have this hole in my soul and it could be painful to walk with me. I will slow you down so much and so often. But he said to me, “That’s really no problem because I love you and furthermore, I know the Soul-Mender. And each time you hurt, I will take you to Him again, and again, and again…”