The Top 5 Actions You Can Take to Keep a Healthy Marriage
Pardon me for using a bowling term, but it is the best way I could describe our efforts to keep the ball on the lane. Keep the bumpers up if you don’t want to end up in the gutter.
No. 1 Keep traditions. Keep praying before meals, going to church, taking a vacation, cuddling before going to sleep. Have your family devotions. Celebrate holidays. Traditions keep the family strong.
No. 2 Stay affectionate. Keep saying “Please” and “Thank you” and “I love you.” Remember eye contact. Remember to touch. Small frequent affectionate squeezes of the hand, a back rub, a foot rub…all these keep the connectors alive and well.
No. 3 Sit beside the road. Remember little time-outs just to “be” with no stress and time restraints. A walk, a night out, sitting on a deck, etc. Give time to catch up and go deeper.
No. 4 Remember the 5 to 1 ratio. In the famous marriage research done by Dr. John Gottman, it was discovered that it takes 5 positives to outweigh 1 negative response. Usually a negative is a criticism of some sort and it takes 5 things your mate did right or well to offset a criticism. It is a careful ecological balance.
No. 5 Create a strong safety net. I teach that each promise kept ties a knot in the safety net. Pay attention to the agreements you make. Be a person of your word. If you absolutely must break the agreement, be sure you are negotiating a new agreement. Life is going to drop some really big rocks in your net, so be sure you have created one that can handle the small ones and the boulders.
Leave a Reply
Your email is safe with us.